Feb 2, 2010
"Sometimes I wished I was a boy..."
I keep thinking I need to be patient but they said "Move faster". How should I move? I mean, being a girl and the fact that we were never close from the start. It also saddened me. I have a little tinge in my heart that I was once again reaching for something out of my league. I knew it from the very start, they were just false hopes. I've never been so pessimistic but the matter is different. If I stay optimistic in this situation, I would either be grateful or more hurt. I'm just scared because I'm a very emotional person and it would affect me greatly.
This feeling has changed me so much, inspiring me and allowing me to do things I've never done before. But I believe it's all going to change...again.
The moment, the time, the second I felt something so sure; the thought that finally I was given a chance now seemed like a star, slowly its light being extinguished by the hint of doubt and a tint of rejection. Sometimes I would think that I was never meant to feel in such a way, that I will always be cupid for others but never for myself.
I hate myself so much for falling courageously even though it was evident that the walls between us were too thick. I hate myself for letting the same things happen to me all the time. I hate myself for the very reason that in the 19 years of my life, the feeling of brokenheartedness will never cease which is why until now I have my feet stuck on the ground and I will never feel what it's like to soar.
This feeling has changed me so much, inspiring me and allowing me to do things I've never done before. But I believe it's all going to change...again.
The moment, the time, the second I felt something so sure; the thought that finally I was given a chance now seemed like a star, slowly its light being extinguished by the hint of doubt and a tint of rejection. Sometimes I would think that I was never meant to feel in such a way, that I will always be cupid for others but never for myself.
I hate myself so much for falling courageously even though it was evident that the walls between us were too thick. I hate myself for letting the same things happen to me all the time. I hate myself for the very reason that in the 19 years of my life, the feeling of brokenheartedness will never cease which is why until now I have my feet stuck on the ground and I will never feel what it's like to soar.
0 comments:
Post a Comment